i have left everything behind to carry His cross

have done away with everything I don't need. I have burnt alot of unnecessary things which can't be given out in the first place. Such as tight clothes which can lead men to commit adultery.  I know the pain of being married and another woman walks by clad in the most revealing clothes past my hubby and I, and I know the pain of looking at my hubbys eyes roaming with the woman. So I have resulted in wearing long loose fitting clothes. That I may not be held on account of adulerty. Also because I know there's absolutely no "prince charming out there". If my hubby and I are at rough patches, after I have tried being the good wife, I know that there is not a man in this world without a "poison" . "Poison" such as drinking, cheating, gambling, fighting, etc. Each and every man has their own poison to be dealt with. There is not a man to treat you better out there. You have to accept the man you have and deal with his flaws an "poison". You have to lead him to living right but never be fooled that there is a man who will take care of you better. That would be against Gods laws on equality. Why should you have it better? What did you do that was so good to deserve that better? He created us equally. Even Bible marriages are as real as today. Don't leave your man and look for better. There isn't. It's Gods law. You can't change that law. All you can wait for is Christ to change the odds in your favor. If you are the one in the lead at first, the Lord will shift it. Marriage is like a football field. Whoever kicks the ball is given all the chances by God to be in the lead. Then turns change and whoever was "boss" becomes the "servant".  And the "servant" becomes "boss". It keeps rotating to show that you are all equally important. And you are all of good use to each other and are one in His eyes. A good wife/hubby uses the time they're in power(in the house) like Joseph in the Bible. Doing good deeds to stay in favor with the Lord to prolong your lead for as long as possible. Instead of using the lead for revenge purposes on all the times umekaliwa chapati. That period lasts for very short. If you leave your man, then make Christ your man otherwise you will be committing adultery in His eyes. It is adultery in His eyes.  I have cleaned out my closet good and proper. I have very little with me and I feel a peace underneath me. My life feels like boarding school. Just very little, what I need. I spend my days reading the Bible, taking care of my cucu and watching the skies as the Lord said there will be signs in the end times. I have absolutely nothing materialistically and nothing in my name. Not a house. Not a car. Not any property. If I died, I would die like a "nobody". Nobody would feel the shift. And I am very joyful for that. I am living the Christ way. You have to be a "nobody" that people may start to look for other ways to spend the time that we all have. They will find Jesus. When you understand the Bible, you understand that we are not meant to make legends of ourselves. It drives people to another focus so anyone who does so will be brought down. Anyone who is okay with the world as it is, is agreeing with all the evils happening in the world of today as well. We are not supposed to be comfortable in this world. It's a world of good and evil. Jesus promises a world of total peace and He is the only happily ever after. We are supposed to die as nobodies that the Lord reigns. That people have no one to wish to become like, or anyone to compete with, that our eyes and focus may be on the Lord. No other motivation should be. No other purpose. Just the good Lord. Because He controls everything.

find out about your Father and Mother

Honour your father and mother:
This commandment might confuse alot but here's the very truth: Your father and mother is God. Through your mothers womb you came into this world but whether through her or another mother, you still could have come into this world. His plan was that you get into the world. Your mothers womb is your transport into this world. Your fathers seed is the grand design conception method He designed. That you may be half both of them. Proof that your mother and father are just transports into the world: Orphans. Their lives still carry on. They still grow up after being rejected or when their parents exit this world. They grow up by Gods grace, just like every child in the world. Alot of the children in the world have moms and dads but their moms and dads are caught up in other things or have prioritized other things. Work, fight verbally and so forth. But the children still grow. Whether they get fed right, or not, they still grow. Whether they get love or not, they still grow. Whether they are brought up by a nanny or mom, they still grow. Because God gives the love they need. Because God is the father and mother of all. So let us not be worried of what our parents on earth expect from us, let us instead be worried if we are living right according to the One who created us. Jesus said: Matthew 8:21 "Lord, first let me go and bury my father," said a follower of Jesus but Jesus replied, " Follow me. Let the dead bury their own dead."  He meant that now the person has left this world and has gone on trial whether they lived right or not in Jesus' standards.
Matthew 10: 37 Jesus said, " Anyone who loves his mother or father more than me is not worthy of me. Anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And anyone who does not pick up his cross(follow Jesus teachings) to follow me is not worthy of me. If anyone creates his life on this earth, he will lose it. If anyone loses his desires or wants because of me, when he dies he will have eternal life."
This is not just referring to males as theres alot of he/his. In Gods eyes, we are all Adam. Male or female, He sees us as the same thing. God is Jesus.

how God denied me things that turned out to be the best for me

When I had my big house, it was a matter of keeping up with trends. The best vases, The best carpet, the best curtains, the best lamps, the best table and dinning chairs, the most expensive of pillows, the best of sofas, the more expensive, the better. That way, no one would reach where I was. Or atleast it would take them time.
But I tell you it was not enough for my eyes to look at our house things to feel some sort of accomplishment. I got tempted to throwing house parties to show off my good taste. So that they would give me praise on how "I had made it".  What kept me from inviting people into my house was my hubby. He never wanted to serve any of the few guests I brought to our house. He never wanted not even the milk he had bought to be shared with my guests in fear of what would we eat tomorrow. Am not kidding. Even sharing something as small as milk became a problem. Financially, we were very unstable. All these worked out for the good. God planned it all out for the best. Because had I started throwing bashes, my house would have been the "get together for people." I would have never stopped throwing bashes because the way I had decorated our house and kept it so clean, I would have started living on the peoples praise. To fill the big empty house. Atleast they would have come and thought how lucky I was to have it all and shown me that I was doing something good with my life. That I was important in the society.
What I never thought through: I would have broken the first 2 commandments:
1). People would have come and worshipped the things I had. By idolizing them. By feeling that without those things, life could not be possible. Thus selling the picture that having those "things" is a good god. Thus breaking the most important commanded ever made: You should never have any gods before the LORD. You should not even think of making anything more important than the Lord.
2). My friends would have come and some gotten depressed with their lives on seeing my house. Their pain would be like a loud earthquake of a cry to the Lord on why He has forgotten them. The Lord would not fail their cry and I would have ended up having havoc in my own home. Something would have happened during the bash or in my life to remind me that theres problems in this world. To keep me at humility level.
3) Some would have come and thought on a plot on how to steal from me. This could have ended up being a murder case because they would have come armed and whoever would try to fight them would get injured if not killed. Commandment no: 6 "you should not murder." I couldn't have blamed them. I would be as fully responsible of their actions as they. I would have led them into temptation.
4). Some would have come and hated me by thinking am having it all good. Hate is murder in the eyes of God. Commandment no 6.
5). I would have broken the adultery commandment no:7:  Some would have come and fornicated in my house. Am sure alot of them.
6) I would have led others to commit the commandment of "you should not steal" no:8 Some would have come and stolen some "valuables". But how could I put the blame on them? If I could invite people, to show off, not all who would have come would have been angels. Some would have come in hopes of making money out of me. They wouldn't even have felt the pain of stealing from me. They would think I had so much. And that it won't even matter to me.
7). I would have made some commit the crime of giving false testimony no:9  Making up stories about me so that I would not be "it".
8). I would have broken Commandment no. 10. You should not wish for any of your neighbours anything; not the wife; not the workers nor any property they own.
 I would not have coveted my own property obviously. I was buying them in the first place to be given praise. At first it was for our little family but my hubby didn't think much of the things we had. And our little baby didn't care where we lived. All she cares is that we are together and not fighting. A little hero she is. But it wasn't enough at that time. I needed more. So I needed other peoples praise. That indeed I had good taste if not great. All so that I may be given a praise to push me through the empty days. But the guests I would have brought with me would have coveted everything I owned. They would have thought that that was true happiness. That way I would have led them down a different path in life. On the material wealth one. But its a very empty one and what happens when God gives us all the same property? To equalize us? I would have become desperate as there would be no more people to praise my "things" anymore. This would have led me to drink. Drinking life away to escape it. That all that big house means absolutely nothing. That all that big house cannot bring even the tiniest bit of happiness.  Then my heart would be as empty as my big house before I knew Jesus.

GENESIS:GOD COMMANDS LANDS TO ARISE OUT OF THE SEAS

DAY 4
   He looked at the seas and ordered the opposite to pop out of them. And dry land came up. He called it the ground. It was the opposite of the seas. The seas were wet and full of waters while the ground was dry and full of soil. He then ordered trees to come forth out of the ground and  to keep producing after themselves. He commanded every sort of vegetation in His mind to come to life and to produce after itself beneath the seas and on the land. Of every shape, color and texture. For food mainly. He made them come up from both land and waters so that, none would overpower the other. The seas would hold as much life as the dry lands. All this took a thousands of years or billion of years to man but only a day to God. And everything happened as He commanded. He called this beautiful day, day four.


God does take time to create a masterpiece. You are His masterpiece. He will carve you like a clay pot and cut out all the unnecessary bits. You will feel the pain but one day you will wonder on how to thank Him for such love. It will one day be worth it.

GENESIS: THE SUN, THE MOON AND THEIR PURPOSE

DAY 3
   There was night, day, sky and the seas. Beautiful and peaceful as it was, He looked at the day and night and felt that they needed something. Lights. One would rule on the day(Sun) and the other would rule the night(moon).  It took a thousand years or more to create the sun, moon and the stars. He saw it was good. He called this day three.
Did you know that:
 Without the sun, there would be no directions or compasses made?the sun is the one thing that never changes where it rises from and sets at.
Without the moon, there would be no calender. The moon marks the end of one month and the beginning of another month. And yes, it is mightily beautiful to look at together with the stars on a quiet night even just alone without company. And to spend time thanking God for His love for us or all. By praying.

GENESIS: LET THERE BE HEAVENS AND SEAS

 DAY 2
  There was darkness and there was light. For a thousand years or more, it remained that way. Then God separated the waters and the skies. He called the skies 'heavens' and the waters 'seas'. He created the heavenly beings too on the second day. The angels. He looked at them. He saw it was good. So He called this the second day.

GENESIS: LET THERE BE LIGHT

DAY 1
 After 1000 years or more to man, all equivalent to 1 day to God, He decided to create the opposite of darkness. Light.  And He looked at the light. And He saw it was good. He called the darkness night. He called the light day. It was beautiful. He balanced the two perfectly; 12 hours of day and 12 hours of night.
The darkness needs the light to be darkness. The light needs darkness to be light. Even in life; without some dark moments, you wouldn't know you were having it good.
What is "to have it good?"
Simplicity. You are okay with Gods perfect design of life and you know that He is always with you through thick and thin.
To be content with what God has in store for you. Be it to be a wife, husband, father, mother, widow, widower, prophet of God, friend, grandma, grandpa, uncle, aunt, daughter,son, niece, nephew, cousin, crippled or grandchild.
To have little because you want to share in the suffering of the worlds pains.
To have little so that you don't get left behind when Jesus comes for His sheep. Luke 17:30 Have nothing that you love too much. It might deceive you that you are having it great and cheat you to want to get left behind. This is not a world to live in. When God doesn't speak anymore, its not a world to live in. When theres just alot of harmful acts, maybe not happening to you, still, its not a world to be content with. We need a world where we can see our king. And serve our God face to face without not knowing if we are offending God.